Introduction

ORSC is an acronym for Organization and Relationship Systems Coaching. Here I want to place the emphasis on relationships.

I’ve said earlier that empathy-building is one of the central outcomes of most of the ORSC tools. They are trying to share (explore, show, mirror) the other side of a perspective to the system.

But what I’ve discovered along the way is that a key to ORSC, and agile coaching in general, is the relationships that we build with our clients and those we help them see and build.

Here’s a wonderful article by Klauss Lombardozzi entitled - Being Right in Relationship or being in “Right Relationship”. It’s a bit of a deeper dive into the dynamics of Relationship Systems Intelligence™ (RSI) developed by the Centre for Right Relationship.

Coaching Relationship

Here are some things I think about when I’m trying to establish a relationship with my client system—

  • Truly be sensitive to the emotional field. Sense it, say it, and adjust to it as required. I think you build a relationship with your client/system when you show the effort to recognize and connect to the emotional field.

  • Be vulnerable (or as vulnerable as you can be) at the moment. If you’re struggling with something or don’t know what to do next, say so. Then perhaps ask the client/system what they need? Or where they might want to go next?

  • Don’t simply coach. At times the client wants/needs you to shift from a pure coaching stance (ORSC, Co-active, professional coaching) to something else. It needs to be carefully and artfully done and it’s situational, but it can engage the client in a different way that builds your relationship.

  • I can’t tell you how important it is to establish your DTA/DCA with your client first, then revisit it as often as required. I always think of the Stephen Covey principle here—Beginning with the End in Mind. It inspired me to remember that “good beginnings” often lead to great relationships.

  • Knowing when to say when is an important factor. And this has two parts. First is at the beginning of the coaching relationship when you’re assessing whether the partnership/relationship makes sense. That is—are you the right coach at this time for this relationship system? That’s an important question to answer and often our own desire, egos, and budgets get in the way of making sound decisions. And second, knowing when to end the coaching relationship (perhaps only for now) is also important.

  • Remember that you serve the client/system. And that they are fully capable of sorting things out.

  • Before each coaching session take the time to intentionally select your meta-skills. Then, see how they “land” and be willing to shift them as necessary. This takes time to learn and become adept at your situational awareness, but it works wonders in your coaching relationship AND in the impact/effect of your coaching.

Building Relationship

Flipping things around. I want to explore how we, as coaches, can help our clients build better relationships within their systems. I believe we can explore and model with them how to increase their focus on the following—

  • System awareness

  • Holding up the mirror

  • Allowing for silence

  • Patience

  • Increased empathy

  • 2% Truth

  • Allowing things to emerge

  • Staying curious

  • Trigger awareness

  • Self-awareness

Can have a huge positive impact on their relationships. That and our staying the course on revealing the system to itself.

Designed Coaching Alliance

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Just as the DTA is intended to establish the ground rules for your group or team activity (meeting, class, coaching session, etc.), the DCA establishes the coaching ground rules.

It’s a place to establish how you’ll be coaching, your ethics, your expectations for the client, and their expectations for you.

It’s a place to acknowledge your style, intentions, and establish a handshake agreement for how much risk and freedom you can take as a coach. For example, in speaking truth to the client and challenging them.

I usually share some high-level aspects of ORSC in this session. For example, sharing about meta-skills and how I’ll be using them in my coaching. Or explaining the notion of the 3’rd Entity in relationship coaching. Of course I don’t go into too much detail, but it is an opportunity for a bit of training and alignment.