The email below inspired me to reexamine the impact caregiving has had on, well, me.
I know that’s not the primary lens for any caregiver, but I’ve learned that it’s an important one.
Why?
Because in the act of caregiving, you can lose yourself. You can lose your identity and purpose. And no, they are not solely to be caregivers. You need more than that to have a balanced life and to be an effective caregiver.
Here are some of the challenges and discoveries you’ll face—
How caregiving reshapes your identity in ways no one warns you about,
The sense of purpose you may have lost—or accidentally found,
How to reconnect with meaning when you’ve been putting yourself last,
What it looks like to nurture your growth while caring for someone else.
My purpose in sharing this post is two-fold. First, is to make you aware that you’ve probably lost all or parts of your identity and purpose as part of your transition to caregiver. And second, to encourage you to re-find and redefine them for your current caregiving reality.
And to avoid the mistake that I’ve made of allowing caregiving to solely take over both.
In working with my therapist, she gently has been reminding me that I need to “find or re-find Bob” in my new role. Not husband Bob or caregiver Bob, but individual Bob. And this hasn’t been as easy as it sounds, because I realized I lost individual Bob in all my other Bob’s.
So, I had to do some deeper work to find him. In fact, I’m still finding him. An example of this is discovering what Bob loves to do. What gives me joy and energy. What recharges me so that I’m a better more balanced caregiver. And how well I’m giving myself space and permission to go away by myself either on short trips or mini vacations.
Right now, I’m not doing a good job of that, but I’m working in it 😉 as I continuously reflect on Bob, both as caregiver and as Bob.
Inspired by this email from Jacquelle Bon-Acosta
Have you looked in the mirror and wondered who you’re becoming now that you’re a caregiver?
Maybe you don’t recognize parts of yourself anymore.
Maybe you miss who you were before the responsibilities grew so big.
Or maybe you’re becoming someone stronger, softer, wiser—but you haven’t had a second to stop and notice it.Caregiving changes you.
That’s why I wanted to invite you to an hour meant just for you:
Anonymous Talk: Redefining Your Purpose
This group is a space to think about who you are beyond your caregiving role—your values, your strengths, and the parts of you that have shifted.
We’ll explore things like:
· How caregiving reshapes identity in ways no one warns you about
· The sense of purpose you may have lost—or accidentally found
· How to reconnect with meaning when you’ve been putting yourself last
· What it looks like to nurture your growth while caring for someone else
You deserve space to reflect on the person you’re becoming—not just the caregiver you’ve had to be.